Chapter Six

We’ve reached a milestone: one-quarter of the way into the book, and I have an important question to ask.  To read chapter and question, go here, then come back and tell me what you think.


22 Responses to “Chapter Six”

  1. Emily Says:

    Can’t wait to see where the lizard boy thread will go. Nothing like a good friend or perhaps nemesis to ratchet the story up a notch. I do think you’re right, that its a little slow right now. But I think you’re moving in the right direction, and I’m looking forward to see how the story takes flight from here!

  2. LNS Says:

    I am a fifth grader from Leon Springs Elementary School. I think that there is enough information and action, maybe a little too much information though. I was getting a little bored, so maybe think about summing it up a bit. Other then that I think that the story is just going to get better and better!

  3. A.R.S Says:

    I am a fifth grader at Leon Springs Elemantary. I think there is enough action. I like all the stuff going on in the book. Although i do think all the training and the extra details are making the story slow. I do not think you are focusing on the characters to much, infact i think you should talk a little bit more about Mr. G or make him more important. Good job!!

  4. HKF Says:

    I am a fifth grade student at Leon Springs Elementary. I like the element of suspense in this chapter. Mr. G deliberately avoids the question, and it adds more suspense. I can’t really tell when the “important thing” comes in. Maybe it’s too well covered. Also, I think you will probably speed up the story soon so I’m O.K. with the slowness. Lizard kid is getting interesting, too. It’s good that he has a friend/enemy in the story.

  5. E.D.G Says:

    I am a fifth grade student at Leon Springs Elemantry. The story is moving a bit slow things need to be happening faster because its starting to get realy boring. I pay attention to the action because I am the type of person that likes books with a lot of action. The rest of the chapter was real good.

  6. Z.H. Says:

    I am a fifth grade student at Leon Springs Elementary. I thik the important character is Bill. I think he shows up when RoyRay is having “fun”.

    I think that yesss the story is moving way too slow. I say that in chapter six when Roy and Bill get together instead of a small stunt like spilling paint on a car, make the prank bigger. Do something the whole town would talk about.

  7. EJG Says:

    I am a fifth grader from Leon Springs Elementary School. I think the only important thing in this chapter is that Roy Ray is not used to heights because in flying altitude is important. I think that nothing else is supposed be happening because I think your still in the part where things and ideas are bieng put in the story get the ending into motion. And I think you don’t spend too much time on characters. Its just enough time.

  8. kk Says:

    I’m a student at Leon Springs Elementary.The important person is in the very beginning. You need to have 50% action and 50% character. You are making the action 30% and 70% character. It made me get really bord and probaly others too.

    • jbcheaney Says:

      kk: 50/50 is probably a good proportion. I’ll remember that. I tend to get involved in characters (female writers often do that more than male writers!) because I like getting to know them, but that’s no excuse for a boring story.

  9. B.M.S Says:

    I’m a 5th Grader at Leon Springs Elementary. The important person in this article is in the begining of this pasage. Sometimes in the story you need to speed things up a bit you know rap things up a little faster.

    • jbcheaney Says:

      I was beginning to think that myself, but you’ve all convinced me–in my next rewrite, I will definitely speed up!

  10. jsh Says:

    I am a student at Leon Springs Elementary. I noticed that there was a important person at the begining of the chapter. And I think you do need to go a tiny bit faster but I also love all the things that you are saying it does have a lot of good things in it.

  11. ssp Says:

    I am a student at Leon Springs Elementary. I think the new character is bill. I think the important thing is that Roy Ray makes his first really high flight. I think the story is going a little too slow. Maybe you can just speed it up a bit. Well i think there is just enough action in this chapter.

  12. I.B Says:

    I am a student at Leon Springs Elementary. Thats another thing what did happen to the other bird people a.k.a avials? Didn’t Mr.Godwit like train a bucketload of them or something like that. I also think that Mr.Godwit is a secretive person. I noticed this right from the start Well not from the start but from when Roy Ray first heard that odd music that night. Oh and about that new important charcter i didnt really notice any important charcter in this chapter yeah sorry i couldn’t see it through unless it was Billy Gecko than no i didn’t notice any new charcter. I also think that a lot more needs to be happening instead of it happening faster. By a lot more needs to be happening i mean like something suprising or suspensful or both and that will get my attention. Also about that question by the people and the action i think people will pay more attention to the action than to the people.

  13. J.W.B Says:

    I am a student at Leon Springs Elementary. I think a little more action needs to happen. I think it needs to move faster too. It seems a little too slow. I think something needs to happen to Roy Ray like someone try’s to kidnap him. That will be very interesting. Or at least something like that to someone.

  14. K.M.P Says:

    I am a Leon Springs Elementary Student. In this chapter Roy Ray starts hanging with Bill and his game. When someone is a good person and hangs out with wrong group it’s kind of obvious that they are the ones who are going to get in trouble. This chapter is a very good explanation of it. When Roy Ray got in trouble Bill and his gang left him there to take all the blame even though it was Bills idea.

  15. JNJ Says:

    I am a student at Leon Springs Elementary. Oh my gosh this chapter is the best one. I think it is pretty funny. I think the funniest part is the first couple paragraphs. To make the story a little better I would add some pazazz. Like onimonipia BOOM CLANK. That would make it better. That is all I have to say.

    • jbcheaney Says:

      JNL: Onomotpea (I don’t know how to spell it either) is a good suggestion–at least it’s easy!

  16. ljo Says:

    I am a student at leon springs elementry . and i really didn’t like this chapter because the were some problomse with the storey becase this chapter had no fun in it and i hope that thier will be some fun futhier on sorry about the last commont 😦

    • jbcheaney Says:

      ljo: don’t worry about not liking a chapter–or the whole book for that matter. At least it’s short! Kind of.

  17. L.E.P Says:

    I am a student at Leon Springs Elementary. This chapter is alittle slow for me. It seem to go in. Bill talks to Roy-Ray and said that you would fit in with us. That is about the only interesting part of the chapter.

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