One thing I’ve decided from posting these chapters and gathering comments: the first several chapters are too slow, and the last chapters are too fast.  So I need to streamline the front, and expand on the back.  Also, one reason for my posting these chapters in the first place was that I wasn’t too happy with the ending of the story.  It obviously leaves you hanging and opens the way for another installment in the series.  Certainly there’s potential for a series, but the story needs to come to more of a conclusion than it does.  Check it out here.  Any suggestions?


One Response to “IN CONCLUSION”

  1. Emily@Behind the Bookcase Says:

    So many interesting elements here at the end. I especially liked the introduction of the enemy’s ability to make Roy Ray doubt himself, even that he could fly. It seems so silly, when he’s been marked by the ability to fly for so long. And yet, I know the feeling. Reminds me of what it felt like to stand at the free throw line in the last seconds of a basketball game. I think someone could have convinced me in those moments that I had never touched a basketball before.

    I also liked the newspaper device. I can definitely see how that could be worked into the early chapters a bit more and made into a really meaningful part of the story.

    I am not sure what I think about the possibility of leaving out the other avials yet. The humor factor–and the coolness factor of the car–at the end is really good. But there is something not quite right about have Roy Ray heading back home with dear old dad. Roy Ray has become the hero, and I’m just not sure about the dynamics then of having him get back in the car and let dad do the driving back to Tomahawk Chop. It seems like the bad guys would just be in hot pursuit and take him away in the night unless he goes into hiding immediately.

    But all in all, it was an enjoyable read, even if Mr. G isn’t safely back in his bed in Roy Ray’s garage. Looking forward to seeing how the project will continue to develop!

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